Why does rubbing one
out make us men so sleepy? Why does jerkin my gerkin make me yawn and
relax? Why does raising the flag on my pole in rapid succession cause
such a joyous tiredness? Let’s discuss.
I learned this very
quickly, every guy has. When I’m having trouble sleeping I don’t reach
for the Trazodone or the Nyquil. When I can’t sleep I don’t make
excuses or try to figure it out. If I can’t sleep, my
meat I must beat. Don’t look so appalled right now. Ask ANY guy above
the age of 13 or so and he will admit it. I wouldn’t suggest going to
your local middle school and randomly asking little boys if they get
sleeping after blowing a load all over the keyboard.
You get put on a special list if you do that.
I don’t have any
scientific facts to back this claim up except for my 15-16 years of
experience. I just pull up my favorite website, sit back and relax as
much as possible, turn on some Barry White and get….it….ON!
Now if you do things
correctly it shouldn’t take longer than 3-5 minutes. However, if you
can’t maintain your focus on the computer screen then you’ll find
yourself sitting at that thing for over 30 minutes.
That’s when the tearing and bleeding begins for those of us that
practice the dry rub.
The key is finding
what you’re in the mood for right away. Don’t browse, just know what
you need to see and get it on that screen. Make it quick, the purple
headed yogurt slinger doesn’t appreciate being given
an Indian rug burn for so long. You don’t want to be up all night,
that defeats the purpose of the sleepy tug and rub.
I know what I know and now you know it too.
Sleep well, Stay strong and most of all NEVER CONFORM!
-JB
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