What is the deal with Colors (nail polish, lip
gloss and eye shadow specifically) being named after foods and named
something that doesn’t even mentally match the color? I really think
this is contributing to young ladies illiteracy.
They go and try to describe a color and the first thing they say is,
“Well, it’s called Dark Side of the Moon (nail polish) so that clearly
makes it the color brown with a twist.” NO!
I did a little research for this blog. I
stumbled across some website that had the top 10 nail polishes for 2012
listed. Here are a few. Hey Sailor, Bikini so Teeny, Kiss, Dark Side
of the Moon, Holiday and Lilly bets Jubilee are the
top seven. I couldn’t stop snickering and laughing so the last 3 were
left off. The top 4 lead me to visions of prostitutes and pimps from
the movie Taxi Driver.
Then we go and come up with some weird ass names
for lip gloss. Oh, Baby!, Ruby Kisses (Not red) and Sugar High (does
not contain any sugar at all). What the hell are we doing? If I was
blind and needed something like this and the only
choice I had was to pick by the name, I would be fucked. If I wanted
red, I would pick something that reminded me of blood or war or
excitement. Instead I would have to get something flavored as a red
food I know so I was assured I had the color red.
How about eye shadow? We really need special
names that don’t relate to the color what so ever? The first one is
Fish Net, this reminds me of a throw net with weights on it that you
toss into a school of fish to catch them. That is not
a color I want around my eyes. Ransom, seriously…that is not a color,
it’s an action that criminals perform. “If you want your daughter back,
leave the 50k ransom in the trash can on the corner of Mercury and
Jefferson.” That’s not funny. If you want to
be ransomed for, I can help you but why put it on your face?
Underground, as soon as I read this, underground means death to me. The
make-up you are going to wear in your casket forever! Makes ZERO sense
to me.
The two nail polishes that got this started are
call Cotton Candy and Baby’s Breath. Cotton Candy comes in all flavors,
colors, sizes, and shapes, whatever. Cotton Candy is not a color; it’s
the most delectable treat a human being can
consume. Baby’s Breath is ridiculous as well. That isn’t even
something you can see! How can you name a color after baby’s carbon
dioxide out breath? It is not visual; it doesn’t have a sense of color
to it and if the baby if breathing on you it doesn’t
make your mind think of a color!
What happened to the 8 primary colors? What did
Crayola start when they expanded to 16 colors, 32 colors, 1.9 million
colors? They started this and I’m going to end it!
Sleep well, Stay strong and most of all NEVER CONFORM!
-JB
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