This constitution is
fully endorsed and sanctioned by the International Dibs-Calling
Committee (IDCC). The rules listed below apply to the calling of Dibs,
also known as “The Call”. Dibs may be made on any single
person, whose sexual gender meets the preference of the caller. Dibs
is called to reserve the target of the call (“the Target”) for the
caller only, preventing others from approaching the Target for a set
period of time. A Dibs call ensures a reasonable
opportunity to seduce the Target without competition. These rules are
definitive and binding.
Section I: The Basic Rules
Article 1
In
order to call Dibs, the caller must pronounce the word “Dibs”,
verifiable by at least one other person. The caller must also identify
the Target is a reasonable manner (i.e. “I got Dibs on
the butterface in the yellow g-string).
Article 2
Dibs
may only be called if the enactor (“the Caller”) has seen the Target in
person. (Photographs, digital images, etc. do not count). Dibs can only
be called when the Caller is in line-of-sight
(LOS) of the Target; Dibs cannot be made if the Caller has already
departed the Target’s location.
Article 3
The
Call guarantees that no other individual, other than the Caller, may
make any effort at hooking up with (seducing, courting, etc.) the Target
for 30 days.
Article 4
Anyone
disrespecting a legitimate Dibs call may be proclaimed a jackass by the
community, and forfeits all honor. The Community may henceforth
actively seek to destroy any sort of relationship
the disrespecting citizen attempts with the Target, and may be attacked
on sight.
Article 5
Dibs
may only be called on a target who is officially single. In the case
where the Target’s status is unknown, Dibs in effect until information
presents itself that clearly establishes that the
Target is already spoken for.
Section II: Special Cases
These special
exceptions to the above rules should be considered in the order
presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the
cases beneath it, when applicable.
Article 1
In
the instance that the Dibs call was made after midnight, the 30-day
period begins on the active day (the day in which one woke up).
Article 2
In
the instance that the Caller is no longer interested in the Target, then
the Caller may retract the Call. The Caller may not make a new Dibs
call on the same target until another person calls
Dibs on the Target in question, and that call has elapsed. Dibs may
not be surrendered to a specific person.
Article 3
In
the instance that 30 days has elapsed since the Caller established Dibs,
and the Caller has been unsuccessful in hooking up with the Target,
then another individual may call new Dibs on the
Target. The individual whose time elapsed may not make a new Dibs call
on the Target until after every potential candidate whom the original
caller knows has either already called Dibs or has declined. If
everyone has already called Dibs or declined, the
slate is cleaned and anyone may call Dibs on the Target (except for the
last Caller, who must wait until at least one other person has called
Dibs again). For purposes of this Article, “every potential candidate’
includes only those people who were present
when the original Dibs call was made.
Article 4
In
the instance that the Target actively pursues a person who has not
called Dibs, then the person the Target is after may submit to the
Target’s desires, rendering the Dibs call irrelevant. For
purposes of this Article, active pursuit will be determined only by
those people present when the Dibs call was made; a majority vote will
determine if the Target’s pursuit is “active”.
Article 5
In
the instance that the Caller makes no significant effort at hooking up
with the Target within 15 days of the call, then the Caller forfeits
Dibs. Rules outlined in Article 2 are thusly followed.
Section III: The Free-for-All Rule (a.k.a. The Gang-Bang Rule)
If a
successful Dibs call has been made, the Caller may institute the
Free-for-All Rule. In this case, all rules become obsolete, and Dibs
may no longer be called on the Target until after the
Target has hooked up with someone and broken up with them.
Amendments
Amendment I: The Lesbian Rule (a.k.a. Hot Dibs)
Contrary
to its name, this Amendment is not gender-specific. If Dibs is called
by someone of one gender, then the Call may be overridden by someone of
the opposite gender by calling “Hot-Dibs”.
This call is only legal the overrider makes the override call within
five minutes of the original Dibs. All Dibs earned in this manner last
only 15 days, not 30, and significant effort must be made within 7 days
before this call becomes invalid.
Hot-Dibs cannot be called to essentially “cock-block” the original Caller.
Amendment II: Warring Factions
All
rules within the Dibs Rulebook refer to a group of allied individuals
(known as a Faction); the Dibs rules made by the Caller apply only to
the Caller’s own Faction. Should the faction recognize
that Dibs was previously called by an individual in another Faction,
the Caller’s Dibs still remain in effect. The Caller’s Faction may
therefore attempt to sabotage the efforts of the opposing Faction’s
caller.
As
per Article 4 of the Basic Rules, all Factions are considered part of
the Community. This establishes additional reinforcements of the rules
governing of a Dibs call.
Thanks Mr. Torkel.
Sleep well, Stay strong and most of all NEVER CONFORM!
-JB
