100 Grand Bar
Who wouldn’t love rice crispies, caramel and
chocolate? Also, wouldn’t love to melt it all down, pour all over
Channing Tatum’s body while he is standing and then try to catch ever single
drop as it slowly dripped from his every ripple and muscle? No homo!
Junior Mints
What is more appealing than a cardboard box filled
up small soft mints covered in chocolate?
Not too much. The chocolate is so
thin that when it is touched to human skin, perfect for “50 Shades of Grey”
style love play, dude on dude style.
Snickers
A)
Peanuts, B) Nugget, C) Caramel, D) Peanuts and covered
in luscious milk chocolate. Mmhmm! Just sliding that hard bar in and out of my
mouth, faster and faster and faster and faster until the caramel slowly snails its
way down my chin!
Mamba
This candy is like generic starburst. So fruity and yummy, yet it holds back the
full punch of flavor until the very end.
It’s like having to bust but trying everything you can to not bust at
all. So invigorating and so tantalizing!
Fruity Mentos
A delicious tube of 4-5 fruity hard but chewable candy,
what could make you harder other than a good bondage session? Very delicious,
long lasting fruitiness to quench your inner fruitiness.
Twix
Not only is it a cookie with caramel on top but it’s
covered with chocolate. The biggest
surprise is there are 2 in each package.
Perfect for a snuggle date with your hetero life mate while you 2 sit
and watch Will and Grace in your snuggies and wish that show was your life.
Orange Slices (7-11Brand)
What a bargain!! 2
bags for $2, about 30 pieces total.
Delicious orange slices, gummy texture, covered with large pieces of
sugar. This candy makes me hard as a
rock. You must buy the 7-11 brand to get
the full flavor and bargain. The blood
is flowing straight to my gens right now!
Mini Reece Cups
Everyone has tried a reece cup and a mini reece cup. This candy is the BEST peanut style candy
ever, it really does invoke a sort of sensual situation in your pants. I prefer to eat the cup from bottom up, much
like I prefer to eat my male partners!
Skor
This has got to be the least tried candy bar all
time. Hersey’s introduced this butter
toffee milk chocolate bar to compete directly against the Lead Inc. Heath bar
in the early 80s. I tried these only a
year or two ago. And I haven’t stopped
sense. I like to such the tip of the bar
until all the chocolate goes away and I’m just sliding this large, brown bar in
and out of my mouth.
Hersey’s HUGS
This is the most homosexual candy on the market, which
makes it a must buy for me. You can actually
eat it very slowly, the top layer being white and milk chocolate together and
the inside is all milk chocolate. It’s
like living with your special man and then finally making love until you both
explode in each other’s mouths…….kind of like that. This is my number 1!!!!!!!!!!!
Side Note:
The only reason Skittles didn’t make the list is a
heartbreaking tale of terror and misfortune. When I was 7 years old about
to turn 8, I remember it like it was yesterday, I was casually eating a pack of
skittles that I received as an early birthday present just minutes
before. Suddenly, I noticed a spider climbing on the inside of my right
shoe. It was like the spider knew I had spotted him, he took off up my
calf into my shorts! I didn’t want to spill my skills but I wanted the
spider off of me. I dropped my shorts faster than the first time
made love to a woman, examined my coin purse for the spider and slightly began to
cry.
Out of nowhere, my winky was struck with the force of
1000 bullets or so it felt. I flinched so bad that the entire pack of
skittles I was holding flew in the air. When I flinched my winky kind of
flew up, as guys say now, it went from 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock. At that
very moment in time, that son of a bitch known as gravity rained the skittles
down towards my crotch area. During this hail storm of skittles, my winky
somehow expanded its winky hole and “swallowed” a skittle. It went 2”
into my winky and I had to have one surgery to get the skittle out because
letting it slowly dissolve would have taken 2 months and I had to pee! I
also had to have 4 surgeries to salvage what was left of my winky and have it
made into a vagina. Oh what a month that was! I kept my balls
though.
Sleep well, stay strong and most of all NEVER CONFORM!
-JB
No comments:
Post a Comment